You and your partner are ready to start a family. You’ve talked about it, planned for it and made the decision together. However, some things might surprise you: California law doesn’t automatically see you both as parents, even if you raised your child as a team.
Knowing what you can do about it becomes crucial.
When love isn’t enough in court
You might assume that planning a pregnancy together makes you both legal parents. Unfortunately, that’s not how the law works. Only the person who gives birth gets automatic parental rights. Your partner? She’s legally a stranger to your child.
This gap can create real problems. If your relationship ends, your partner could lose all rights to see the child you raised together. If you’re in an accident, she might not be able to make medical decisions for your kid.
Making it official through adoption
Second-parent adoption is one way to fix this problem. Think of it as adding your partner’s name to your family’s legal paperwork. She becomes a full legal parent without you giving up any rights.
Yes, it involves going to court and paperwork. However when it’s done, both your names go on the birth certificate. Your partner gets the same legal standing you have.
Another path: Parentage actions
Maybe adoption feels too formal for your situation. A parentage action might work better. This is when you ask a judge to declare that you’re both parents from the start.
This option works well if you used a known sperm donor or did at-home insemination. The legal lines can get fuzzy in these situations, and a parentage action clears things up.
Don’t wait until it’s too late
You love each other and trust each other, but love and trust aren’t legal documents. A handshake agreement won’t hold up if you end up in family court.
Getting your legal ducks in a row now protects everyone – you, your partner and your future child. It’s about making sure the law recognizes what you already know: you’re both this child’s parents.
Your next step
Find a family law attorney who understands LGBTQ+ families. They’ll know California’s parentage laws and can guide you through the process. Don’t wait until after the baby arrives.
Your family deserves full legal protection. Taking action now means you can focus on raising your child together without worrying about legal complications.